Discrete and continuous possibilities [490]

Greetings from the shed...

I’m Christian Payne, autotelic, photographer and writer. In this weekly dispatch I seek out novelty, explore the relations between things, how we share, what we share and consume, plus where we might be going. I’ve just got in from recording what the fish can hear when people are climbing into a scull. Thanks for joining in.

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#TheAction

Last weekend me and the family headed to a place called Five Miles From Anywhere No Hurry Inn. We got wind that there would be a few Wilderness Trail Boats that I featured the other week. We wanted a closer look and are sorely tempted to get one.

Then today I found out that the original designer Ian Graham and his parter Trisha would be back at the pub, so I packed an audio recorder and jumped on the motorbike to meet them.

I was keen to hear what inspired him to design this amazing little craft and also what i’d need to be aware of should I want to buy one myself. I’ve only just got back. but expect the audio interview in the subscriber feed soon. And the underwater audio alluded to above.

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I jumped on the motorbike because my car was pretty much kidnapped this week. We are a two car family and as one car is electric I tend to use that when it’s available. The other is an my old VW Scirocco that more often than not sits on the drive. Sometimes it will sit for a month without moving.

Rather than subject you to the ‘enthralling’ but long story of what happened to my car, I decided to tell you in audio. Sadly on recording the audio I have added way too much detail and the audio version is even longer.

So choose your own adventure. A) Listen to the audio. B) Speed read the text or C) Ignore it all. :-)

The car was a gift from my Brother in Law when he emigrated to the US. It had well over 100,000 miles back then and now sits at 140,000. As a diesel VW though and this particular engine might have another 60,000 miles or more in it. So rather than swap it prematurely for another electric car I thought that as it runs well, using it for as long as possible might be the greener thing to do.

So every year it is serviced and undergoes an M.O.T. That’s a Ministry of Transport certificate to ensure a vehicle is safe and meets environmental standards. All cars and motorbikes need one after 3 years.

This year I decided to take the car to a local garage.  It’s always flown through these tests without an issue, but this year the garage appeared to picked every little possible fault and even some that did not seem possible. Worn discs and break callipers, damaged springs, light alignment and a bonnet latch that I had only been using that morning. They told me that to fix everything would cost £1000 and they’d understand if I didn’t want to go ahead. (The car is probably only worth £1600 at best.)

I felt that that was a strange way to put it, but it kind of made sense when they added that their junior mechanic might like to buy my car as he needed a first car, so if I was going to scrap it, he would give me £250.

I was angry at this statement but didn’t show it. I told them I’d have a think about my options and cycled to another garage for a second opinion. In the UK the MOT is visible online, so on giving them my registration number I got a quote from another garage. They told me they could do the work for £400.

It confirmed what I felt. I was being scammed. When I phoned the original garage stating that I’d be taking the car away to look at my options, they told me I couldn’t move it as it was too dangerous to drive.

This didn’t feel right, so I headed over anyway. In reception I met a few people with very glum faces who told me they were a little shocked at the cost of repairs.

I was once again told that the young lad wanted to buy my car. I explained to them that I was legally allowed to take the car elsewhere and so paid £45 for the failed test, gaffer-taped my mysteriously broken bonnet and drove it away.

When I got home I spotted that the recipet from the epos machine had a different company name on it. ALL the reviews said avoid. Looks like they were trying to hide a shady past.

Anyway. Long story short, today I picked up my car from the better more honest garage. (That’s why this email is late) It has passed the test and they said the car is in great condition and should easily do another 100,000 miles. That would be nice. I’m going to see how long it lasts me.

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#ThePictures

Brilliant. The full documentary ‘The Cruise’ on YouTube.

And this looks good.

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#TheWords

The Spiritual is not weird.

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#TheSound

I’m attempting to consolidate my audio into one place. Right here in my Substack feed using their import tool.

That means supporting subscribers will get to explore over 2000 podcasts trawled from various lost and broken RSS feeds from the last 20 years.

In fact, even though only 500+ podcasts have made it into the subscriber feed there are many more out there.

I just posted episode 2154 where I explain more.

Out of all the supporting subscribers only around 70-100 regularly listen to these random audio moments. If you are unsure of how to get the RSS feed into your app let me know and I will do what I can to assist.

If you have never heard any of my audio recordings before, think random audio, conversation, actuality and found sound.

In the comments, myself and Mark Cotton discussed the audio edit.

I explained that more often than not I’ll only edit if I have little to say or wish to have a play. Or as a way to bolster a short comment or thought.

I much prefer minimal production and where possible unedited snippets. Not just because I don’t want to put the hours in, although that’s a part of it, sometimes I feel an audio moment is complete in itself. Often it can be composed by the narrator in real time. Just as a photo can come out of the camera and shared as a ‘snap’.

I feel that as a witness at point of capture, we know the audio recording to be raw and real. Every edit is a re-remembering and sometimes a polish can remove that wonderful patina.

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This was a jaw dropping moment for me. All these years I thought that carrying a harmonica would enable me to earn enough for food, drink and perhaps even accommodation should I ever get caught short. It has done so in the past. But all this time, all I really needed to do was modify a drinking straw. (The old-school-turtle-killing-plastic type.)

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#TheConsumed

The humble sardine, in this case the Sardinha Portuguesa, also called the European sardine or Sardina pilchardus. It’s basically any of several small or immature fishes of the herring family and often underestimated in the culinary world. I just received this particular can from my friend Adrian who just returned from holiday in Porto.

You see how happy that guy on the tin is? That’s how happy I was to have these on an avocado salad sandwich today.

Outside of a great flavour there’s those magical omega-3 fatty acids, along with the obvious protein, and vitamins etc.

If you’d like to deep dive the world of the Portuguese sardine without getting wet, check out PortugueseSardine.com

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#TheThings

I’ve been a Brompton rider for 14 years. The same bike.

Granted I have been modding it along the way, but only to make it a little lighter, or more comfy and functional. Recently after touring with it around the Isle of White I contemplated adding more gears. Three got me round the island ok but six would have made things easier.

I have a gravel bike which in itself is amazing, but as much as I love how it carries me comfortably over rough terrain, I miss being able to fold it and take it into a pub or hotel. Or on the train without having to book a space.

I didn’t upgrade my S3L-X as there is something I have been waiting for. I got a whisper last year that Brompton were close to finishing a 20” wheeled version. And now, finally, it seems like the fabled Brompton G-Line is a reality.

I really do need to have a ride and check out the fold. But this first look has me thinking they’ve achieved their aim. To create the best riding folding bike out there. It might not be light enough to cart long distance, but the new frame geometry has me thinking it’ll be perfect for riding long distance and then stashing in a room, office, car or public transport.

As a person with a garage crammed with bikes, if I can just save the £2.5K, I’m pretty sure I can fine a spot for this space saving freedom machine. Or for a grand less might I be brave enough to convert my own?

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#TheThanks

As a thank you to all the paying subscribers that support my time here and keep this dispatch free for everyone, I have some more exclusive audio on the way. Please consider upgrading to become a paid supporter and you can also access the audio and the extensive archives. Either way… Thank you for reading, sharing and liking.

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#TheWeb

• If you fancy doing a little shoplifting, you can here.

• Have you added yourself to the Documentally community map like the amazing Balo7 has?

• Somewhere in the multiverse there is another me, posting this link but doing it without using the word ‘moist’. Tiny actions creating alternate realities.

• Earth will get a second mini moon for 2 months this year.

• Some of my other places include Letterboxd, Flickr, LinkedIn, YouTube, Mastodon, a ham radio newsletter or search ‘Documentally’ on Wire, Birdsite, or Bluesky

• How to monetise a blog ;-)

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#TheEnd

I’ve got a lot of audio and photo editing to do next week. Including the audio I hinted to at the top of this email. In the meantime, I’ve a feeling I’ll be expected to do some karaoke this weekend. I hope you also have something fun planned.

Thank you for reading.

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“I think the reward for conformity is that everyone likes you, except yourself.”

– Rita Mae Brown

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Cruise.

See you out there.

Over…

A ❤️ is a high-five, a comment is a hug. A supporting subscription earns my undying love.