Nothingburger [560]

Greetings from The Borders...

I’m Christian Payne, photographer and writer. Normally in this dispatch, I seek out novelty, explore the relations between things, how we share, what we share and consume, plus where we might be going.

Thanks for joining in.

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#TheAction

The lack of a cryptic title pointing to some kind of semi-themed thread should hint towards the fact I have very little lined up to share this week. Although as I begin to list noticed minutia, I’ll no doubt hit the ‘Post too long for email’ warning. It only takes a few photos to trigger that …and it’s a regular occurrence.

This could well be a lot of nothing.

“I love to talk about nothing. It's the only thing I know anything about.” ― Oscar Wilde

I’ll also need to take a brake in the compiling of this dispatch to go to the dentist with the family. So there’s that. 😳

I did get to do my taxes though. I attempted to get AI to have a go but a) I don’t trust it not to make shit up and b) for now… humans really can do this kind of thing better. So I parted with a chunk of cash and gave all my paperwork to someone who saved me enough cash to cover their fee. I just got it all in before the deadline. So that feels like a win.

I also managed to backup my main backup! A double win.

It took 35 hours.

The rest of the week has had me literally sheltering from the storm. When the dog lets me.

Here goes nothing…

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#ThePictures

My daughter finally talked me into watching ‘The Mitchells vs. the Machines’. (Only four years after it was made) Loved it.

Best apocalypse road movie featuring a dysfunctional family and a pigdogloaf ever. 4/5

After that I recommended we watch a dark cartoon mini-series called Over The Garden Wall.

The idea was pitched over 20 years ago and it’s been out around 13. It’s beautiful and has some great actors voicing the weird and wonderful characters. There’s only 10 short episodes. If you can find it, give it a watch. 4.5/5

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Last week I mentioned that I dropped a couple of rolls of film in to be processed and one of them, a black and white roll, had been lying around for over a year. Here are a few of the negs off it.

Top left it a shot of my favourite camera store. Skears in Northampton. Top right is a photo of some ducks in flight at a reservoir. Bottom left is a lone pigeon on a pole (as featured at the top of this email) and bottom right is a walking frame in a garden.

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#TheWords

AI may well imitate writing, but cannot replace the human act of thinking, remembering and creating meaning through art.

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Occasionally when signing up to a new platform my handle Documentally gets rejected.

This screen grab is off the signup page for Cyberspace.online. When I contacted the developer they said they could not see what the problem was. I told them that they probably needed to ok the word ‘cum’.

That fixed it.

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#TheSound

I’m never just testing a microphone, (in this case it’s the mono lavalier that came with the Deity PR-2) this time i’m also pondering as to whether reading a lot of AI slop can change the way we think and write. I’m of the mind it can, does and is.

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I received a parcel I didn’t remember ordering and on opening it, found this…

It’s the album Nonagon Infinity from King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard. Thought to be the best psych-metal-jazz-prog album ever made.

It has been on my wish list* for a while and some kind person bought it in anticipation of my birthday on the 3rd. (In case you wondered ;-)

As long as you remember to flip the record the nine songs play from front to back to front to back, on an infinite loop.

High energy psychedelic garage rock. Love it.

*[My Wishlist is still on Amazon despite attempting to find another way. ‘Wishlistr’ looks the most promising but at time of writing my account has been suspended after setting it up. Probably for the same reason mentioned above.]

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#TheConsumed

Fish has featured on the menu this week. Perhaps I'm craving those Omega-3 fats and vitamin D. I spotted some tinned smoked kippers while out shopping and tried them on toast with cheese and some fancy piccalilli left over from Christmas. Also good with brown sauce. And one evening I baked some of our salmon hoard (featured the other week) to have in soft tacos. The kids loved them.

No idea how old the Taco is as a dish, but a quick search says they were eaten in Mexico way before the Europeans arrived and might be up to 5000 years old. 😲

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#TheFound

While searching in the attic this week I found a small penknife I thought i’d lost a while ago. Despite having bought a replacement the moment I realised I’d lost it, I was so pleased to have found it in the pocket of an old bag.

Anyone that reads this dispatch will know I have a bunch of pen knifes and multitools. But by far my most used knife and the one I carry everywhere is the small but incredibly useful Swiss Minichamp.

The cuticle pusher was originally called a ‘spatular’ and featured in knifes used in the pharmaceutical industry. It’s now for some reason unofficially called the ‘cocaine spoon’. But my favourite tool is the hooked knife called the ‘orange peeler’ which is fantastic for opening packaging, cutting zipties or knots and of course… peeling an orange.

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#TheThings

I thought this guitar was an AI render till I saw it was the brainchild of Mattias.

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I’ve had fun reviewing footage from the trail camera but after seeing these photos on Bluesky I think the next level option will be a Squirrel box.

Damn this squirrel is cute.

Probably cheaper to make my own though.

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#TheThanks

Thank you to those who continue to support this dispatch, whether it be with a supporting subscription or sharing it elsewhere. Much love. ♥️

It’s my birthday on the 3rd of Feb (you know where this is going ;-) if you don’t fancy upgrading yourself with this link…

Then how about gifting a subscription to someone else… ;-)

Your continued support keeps me going.

Either way… Thank you for reading, sharing, liking and supporting a real life human doing manual work with their brain.

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#TheWeb

• This week saw the 100th anniversary of the TV.

• Moltbook is a social network for AI agents. But humans can lurk.

• Greetings Andy, Thanks for adding yourself to the Documentally community map.

• I wonder what other experiments with AI bots are happening in the wild right now.

• Reflecting on how progress failed our children and why climate collapse is no longer a distant idea but our lived reality.

• Our dog is a mishmash of many breeds but looking at this research, she should be easy to train. So far this is true. If you have enough treats.

• Some of my other places include these… Supporting subscribers also get access to a Discord server. I will often post things there that don’t fit here. Message me for a link if you want in. 👍🏽

• AI toy exposed 50,000 logs of its chats with kids to anyone with a gmail account.

• The Blind Owl by Sadeq Hedayat is the single most important work for understanding modern Iran.

• In 2025 the EU generated more electricity using wind and solar than with fossil fuels.

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#TheEnd

We’re here already. I still managed to find a bunch of words to compliment the links and yes… there is a red banner at the top of the page telling this post is too long for email. I hope something resonated.

In case you wondered, the dentist went great. And it was free. 🤷🏽

Thanks for reading.

I don’t think of you as strangers here. Especially as I feel like I know most of you from across the web and some of you IRL. Plus many of you that I’ve not met in meatspace tend to comment in these emails or message in other places. Thanks for that also. Always welcome :-)

Same time next week?

Happy Imbolg if you are celebrating tomorrow.

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“Photography is essentially an act of recognition by street photographers, not an act of invention. Photographers might respond to an old man’s face, or an Arbus freak, or the way light hits a building—and then they move on. Whereas in all the other art forms, take William Blake, everything that came to that paper never existed before. It’s the idea of alchemy, of making something from nothing.” ― Duane Michals

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Do something.

See you out there.

Over…

A ❤️ is a high-five, a comment is a hug. A supporting subscription earns my undying love.